Friday, February 8, 2013

Keeping the Biggest Secret of My Life

So the word on the street is out.  The biggest secret of MY LIFE finally got let loose this week.  FINALLY.  Cooper is going to be a big brother!  I'm a little over 17 weeks along, due July 18


When I first found I was pregnant, I immediately knew I wanted it to be kept a secret.  But I did not realize in the LEAST how incredibly difficult that would be.  Keeping this secret was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

But what I knew more than anything, was that I absolutely did NOT want to get people's hopes up and then have them face that dissapointment.  There were a few people who I really wanted to tell who I probably could have.  But my parents, my in-laws, and some of our friends who I knew would be so excited and I just didn't want to let them down (Rachael and Leandrea - I'm talking to you!). 

It didn't help that my very first doctor appointment wasn't for MORE than THREE WHOLE WEEKS after I found out with those little blue lines. 

Why yes, I did take not 1, not 2, but 3 tests.  And yes, I did take a picture of them.

The waiting seemed like an eternity.  I even kept questioning - is there really a baby in there?  Even though I had about a billion pregnancy symptoms (um, hello fatigue and food aversions), I kept questioning if they were just "placebo" effects!  Yep, I'm crazy.

There were certainly times that were harder than others to keep it a secret.  We went through Thanksgiving AND Christmas with our families without telling them.  I ran the Mustache Dache, the Seattle Half Marathon, and the Christmas Rush 10k knowing I was pregnant but somehow not telling the running buddies!  Others around me were pregnant and talking about their's and I was DYING to share and especially to ask questions.  There was the work holiday Christmas party where I was one of the only people without a drink.  Michelle kept telling me to enjoy her favorite beer for her and I couldn't!  Yep, keeping secrets isn't my strong suit.

But FINALLY I got some proof that there was a baby in there after all! 

Isn't it adorable?!  :-)

So I am SO happy to finally finally FINALLY tell the world that yes, I am indeed, "in the family way".  I finally told my boss, we bought a crib, and major works on the baby's room are underway!  This is happening people!  Whether I'm ready or not... 

Comments (13)

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Hooray!!!!! So excited for you!!!!!! That is a huge secret to keep. I don't think that I could have done it. We will miss you at Spokane to Sandpoint, but you get to help me celebrate my 30th birthday in Vegas. WooHoo!!!!!
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So excited for you! And yes it was impossible to keep the secret for me- I was dying!! Aren't the ultrasound pictures fun?! I loved getting them and still have them framed!
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So happy for you!!! I did the same thing when I was first pregnant..I kept it secret for a while and for the same reason. at work I was over 5 mos when I told just my boss and the rest of the people found out when I went in pre term labor AT work...they were a little surprised!!!
wishing you a happy pregnancy
The next time I see you (Ragnar Vegas!!) you will be a mom! :)
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Keeping the secret is SO hard. When I was pregnant with B we told everyone at 8 weeks and now I realize how soon that was! With Livie it was 9 weeks and this time 13 - funny how it's gotten longer. I did tell my best friends (including Paula who was so damn excited that I was running and taking walk breaks it wasn't even funny - lol) because I am the worst when it comes to secrets (I'm much better at keeping other peoples). At least that provided some relief!

With all of that rambling aside - I am SO excited for you!!! It's the scariest, most frightening, and best life-changing event in your life.

I'm bummed about the beer - but we will celebrate for SURE next Christmas :)
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Congrats - so excited for you! :) Can't wait to follow the excitement on the blog.
That baby is so gorgeous!!!! I love it!!
Congrats Nicole!
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mego@watchmegorun · 633 weeks ago

congrats again! so excited for you!! I can't imagine how hard it was not to share the news. I definitely think you guys did it the right way. So many people tell others before they even go to the doctor and it can be so heartbreaking if something happens. I hope you're feeling okay these days. Excited for you and everything to come!!
Congratulations! I just found you through Michelle's post & I must say, keeping the secret IS hard! I found out I was pregnant just after Thanksgiving & while I told my immediate family right away (I called my mom as soon as I got the first positive) I waited a few more weeks to tell my closest friends, and only made it to 10 weeks before I spilled the beans at work. I had to wait for SIX weeks from the first test I took until I saw my doctor for the first time - those were the longest weeks ever! I didn't have any morning sickness at all, so I really had that "is this really happening?" feeling...still do actually, even though I've got several ultrasound - and 7 positive pregnancy tests - to prove it.

Congratulations again & have fun preparing for the baby! I know my husband and I are looking forward to doing the same!
Congratulations!! I can't believe you kept the secret for that long. I think we told everyone the same day we found out each time:)
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congratu-freakin-lations! This is so exciting and I'm glad you were finally able to reveal the awesome news. Here's to health and happiness for you + your lil nugget!
Hey, that's my name up there!!! July 18th will not be here fast enough, that is for-freaking-sure! There is no way I could ever be disappointed in or with you. Unless maybe you forgot to call me on my birthday. :-) Oh wait, this is a common occurrence in both of our families. I am so very excited. I finally get that feeling of being excited for someone else to be pregnant. I never understood until now what it really felt like to be absolutely overjoyed for someone else.

PS - The girls say that they want this baby to be a girl because they don't have any girls cousins and they want to know what it's like to have a girl cousin. So, you need to make this happen for them. <3

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