Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"The Hunger"

Who else gets "the hunger"?  No I'm only partially talking about the desire to drink blood....  Some of you may be familiar with this.  In fact, I think some of you may have termed it “runger”, which I appreciate for its wittiness but I feel like it doesn’t dramatize the situation as much as is warranted. 

“The Hunger” is that feeling you get after you’ve been marathon training (or even half marathon training!) for awhile.  You wake up one morning hungry.  So you eat.  And eat.  And eat.  AND EAT.  Yet you are still STARVING.  I’m not just talking hungry.  I’m talking full on ravenous.  I’m talking I’m-going-to-murder-someone if I don’t eat soon.  I’m talking contemplating eating your own arm hungry.  And even after you’ve devoured your house (or arm), you are still SO hungry.  Your significant other may fear for their life.  Your hunger may exhibit itself in unhealthy bouts of rage.

"The Hunger" is insatiable, it is gnawing, it is obnoxious, it is constant. 

Has this happened to anyone else?  No???  Just me?  Perhaps it’s time I found myself a therapist.  Possibly one that specializes in hunger-related rage.
Anyway, normally “The Hunger” hits me on a random weekday, which usually intensifies it’s weirdness because it’s normally not the day of nor even the subsequent day of a long run.  So it’s not like I feel like I’ve “earned” eating all this food by running 15 miles.  Having this happen on a weekday is beneficial though because I usually just have all the food I packed for lunch and that’s it, when it’s gone it’s gone and I have to deal with it (angrily or not).
But not this time.  This time “The Hunger” hit on a weekend.  A WEEKEND.  Oh the humanity.  Why?  My scale is asking these questions right now.  Because you know what happens when “The Hunger” hits you when you’re within 5 feet of food ALL-DAY-LONG?!

This happens:

And this:

And this:
The best donut in America.
And this:

And this:

I lied.  THIS was actually the best donut in America.


This is a S'MORE I made out of a CADBURY EGG and a PEEP.  Seriously amazing people.  I must credit Paula with being a true evil genius. 
Perhaps this is the exact reason why so many find themselves gaining weight (or at least not losing) during marathon training, which is so counter-intuitive because you’re burning thousands of calories a week.  But you’re eating tens of thousands of calories a week in “The Hunger” food.  So, there you go.  I’m a scientist. 
This post could also be titled “How to Gain 10 Pounds in One Weekend.”

Go, and may “The Hunger” be with you.

Has this ever happened to you?  Or are you working on having me committed at this very second?