Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A Virtual Tour of Vancouver, British Columbia

So you've always wanted to visit Vancouver, British Columbia, but it's just too far and / or too expensive for you to travel?  You're afraid you might NEVER see the beauty that is Canada?  Well look no further my friends, you have come to the right place.  I will take you on your own personal tour of Vancouver, in which I will show you ALL of the sights the city has to offer, answer any and ALL questions you might about the historical past of the city, and basically make you the happiest girl in the world.  You will never have to visit after reading this post because you will have seen it all.

 See - proof I was in Canada!

Before we begin, did you know that Canadians are crazy for hockey?  Like seriously crazy.  It might help that the Vancouver Canucks are in the playoffs.  At dinner on Friday night there was some SERIOUS craziness at the bar.  Serious craziness.

See, we're at a bar with hockey.  Proof.

Also, the Canadian government appears to have a sense of humor that the U.S. would never muster:

And now let's start the tour.  First up is this orca whale statue made out of lego's.  Ogle at it's wonder. 

Next stop on the tour, is this weird statue made out of huge pieces of glass.

Next we'll travel to Canada Place (I don't know what that means or is), which is also somehow the Pan Pacific Hotel, which is ALSO somehow part of the Convention Center.  I mean Centre.  And colour.  And curling rinks.  My grammar has turned Canadian! 

And then you'll see the Fake Space Needle:

Next you'll see a really really old church.  Probably built around the same time as the pyramids.

Next up are some black squirrels.  We don't have these in the states.  Or maybe we do and we just don't have them in Washington.  Clearly I am a source for a wealth of information.

People keep telling me I should go pro in photography.

If you travel to Vancouver you'll also see many bald eagles.  I think it might be a conspiracy that they're endangered.  There's quite a lot of them!  

Finally, you'll see the famous Stanley Park.

 Yes I'm a professional runner.  That statue is of me.  And behind me is a FLOATING Chevron gas station. 

And you're done!  You've seen Vancouver, British Columbia.  The best online tour anyone is offering.  Can you believe how much information you've learned?  Are you wowed by how much research I didn't have to do to write this post?  I am.  Please send me $99.95 plus shipping and handling.  

PS - Sorry I've been MIA.  I need to catch up on all of your lives.  I feel like a chicken with it's head cut off running around without my phone.  For 3 full days I've had no talking to my husband, no emails, no trusty GPS sidekick to help in times of need, and worst of all, NO entertainment of reading your blogs during any bored moment. It was a trying time.

Do you feel dumber for having read this post?  I'm probably dumber for having written it. 

Have you been to Vancouver BC?  What are the best things you saw / did?  Please share them so everyone doesn't throw tomatoes and boo me off the stage for tricking them with this post.